A few photographs.....

Drunk again.....


On the beach - Christmas day


Renuka loves eating spinach with her hands....

... and finally ...

Boxing day started with a relaxed breakfast on the beach ... masala omelette of course with toast and tea. Then we jumped in the hire car and headed north along the coast from one exotic sunkissed beach to another. We were in search of an elusive fort, so elusive we spent quite some time trying to find it but gave up in the end - no worries we were enjoying the Goan countryside anyway.

Saturday was Renukas mum's last day in Goa so we spent it with her. We all (Renuka, me, her mum, Simitra, Inder and her uncle) piled into a little Suzuki car and headed south to meet Renukas cousin (number 435) and her brothers girlfriend & co. We had a good day on the beach and were due to go to a music festival on the beach back at base in the evening but it weren't to be - always have a standby plan in India because original plans seldom work out. Everything seems to take so much longer than anticipated.

Anyway, we had a nice meal back at the house with all the family.

Sunday saw us take Ren's mum to the airport and then we stopped off at the good old Marriott for a day in luxury again. It's such a hard life. The evening was spent packing and receiving more cousins until 02:30 when we set off to the airport for the long journey home.

Christmas on the beach.....

Christmas eve was a relaxed affair. We went down into Panjim in the evening, did a bit of sightseeing and then had a nice meal in one of the best Indian restaurants in town.

Christmas day was superb. Renukas cousin is a top chef and catering manager in Goa. When a new hotel or restaurant opens, he sets it up and runs it for 3 months. He got us booked into a brand new "resort" for Xmas day. We had our own tent (sounds poor but this was the Ritz of tents - air conditioning, beautifully furnished and very plush). So we spent the day with more of Renukas extended family.

We ate and drank all day. However we did make time to swim in the warm Arabian sea and have a ayurverdic massage as the sun was setting. It really was a special day and enjoyed by all.

Today we took to the Goan countryside in a car and travelled miles enjoying the scenery of lush forests, colourful Goan houses, shanty towns and a few other tourists thrown in.

To the right of the blog is a list of Renukas and mine mishaps. We're not sure how we are both going to cope with work in view of our mishaps on this holiday. We've both been in numpty mode for 12 days.

Tomorrow we were going to go to the evening hippy market but the police have cancelled it for security reasons. There's a fear of a terrorist attack in Goa which is making us a bit nervous. We'll chill out at home instead so don't worry about us folks - we'll keep away from hotspots.

That's it for now. Will post more pictures later. Hope you all had a great Christmas day.

Marriott magic.....

Monday took us to the Marriott hotel in Panjim. A 5 star luxury place overlooking the Mandovi river with views of the dolphins guaranteed (except for our stay). Ren's mum is a member of the Marriott club so we got a free night and lots of discount on food and other things. We made best use of the facilities and both had an aptly named spice bundle massage - this consists of being massaged with hot oil and being whacked around various parts of the body with a bloody hot bundle of spices. We were paying for this?!! After that, all we were good for was a quick snack while watching the fireworks outside (to be explained later, he he) and then 143 games of peanuckle (cards) in the room, with gin of course.

After all our travelling and early starts we were looking forward to a good night's sleep. Renuka did get a good night but it was not to be for me. I discovered Renuka snores loudly when in a deep sleep. I had only one earplug, which was woefully inadequate.

We stayed in the hotel the next day too. I caught a bus into town and shared it with 345 local Indian people on their way to work. Sardines or what. We had a free buffet lunch which took us 3 hours (2 to eat and 1 to squeeze out of the door after it). In the afternoon we both had a simultaneous Indian head massage, at the same time (this phrase to be explained later). This was a fabulous experience and at the end of it we were very relaxed and almost falling asleep. Renuka woke herself up by hitting her head on a shelf as she bent to pick up her purse for the massage.

In the evening we all joined in to cook the evening meal. My job was chief onion chopper and puri fryer. Everyone said they were the best puri's they'd ever eaten. I think they were fibbing somehow. Then it was my turn to get a good night sleep - until the dog next door started howling (marginally quieter than Renuka's snoring) at 3:15am!!!

Mumbai to Goa by rail....

We got up at the unearthly hour of 5am to catch the train from Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus. This station is one of the locations where the recent Mumbai attacks took place. We could see the bullet holes in the walls. It was quite disturbing.

We had a superb journey on the train. We shared a cabin with 3 young guys. 2 of who were doing an MBA in Panjim (our destination) and the other was a research chemist. We taught each other card games between admiring the lovely views of Maharashtra and Goa. We also ate the lads dinner!

At one point we were at a station when Ren asked where we were. We looked at the signs and saw it was where her dad grew up. She became so excited and wanted a picture taken. I dragged her from the train (kicking and screaming because she was scared the train would set off without us) and stood under the sign before we hurriedly ran back to the train before it set off again.

A taxi whisked us back to Ren's mum's house and we then hit Baga which is a beach resort. This was a bit of a shock to the system. Wall to wall neon, Rovers Return bars, Sky TV and all the things that I despise in foreign holiday spots. So I got absolutely pi$$ed!

More to follow soon......

Pune to Mumbai.....

We took a more comfortable bus out of Pune and headed to Mumbai. The journey took about 4 hours as Mumbai was absolutely log jammed. We were met by Vijay who is a relative of Ren's father Vijay (Ren's middle name is Vijay too!). I'm losing track of names and family relationships so apologies to all concerned!

The picture is from the 25th floor of Vijay and Meera's apartment

We promptly had food (a theme developing here) and went to a Mall before setting off to Vijays daughter and son-in-law. However we had to be dressed for the occasion and Vijay presented me with a traditional Indian outfit of Kurta and pajamas - pictures to follow.....

Again we had a lovely evening with family before heading home at 1 am. We had to be up at 5am for the early train to Goa

Day 5 & 6 Pune

Thursday night was spent with Renukas brother Neil and girlfriend Priya. We went to a nice trendy restaurant on the banks of a river. We had Pizza (1st non Indian food of the holiday which gave us a bit of a jippy tummy the next day!). The next day we spent mainly with Renukas family - Aunty and uncle in the morning provided us with an omelette masala (spiced up omelette!) . Then we had a quick shopping tour of Pune.

As described in an earlier posting we visited an Ashram - a place of tranquility where you meditate and learn how to find inner peace. We watched a promotional video for 30 minutes and were then taken on a silent 10 minute walk of the grounds - very difficult for Renuka! (and Renuka hastens to add also difficult for Michael who couldn't stop giggling).

This place was famous in the 70's for perhaps the wrong reasons - Alan Wicker did a documentary on it as the spiritual leader would tell his followers to renounce all their worldly goods but then himself travelled around with an entourage of 10 Rolls Royces! It also gained notoriety for being a place where everyone discovers everyone else's bodies! You now have to take an HIV test to stay there.

We felt it was a good place in theory to go to, but maybe a little out of touch with OUR reality. However all the Indian people we spoke to about it, did not have a bad word for it. So maybe Renuka and I need to look at our inner selves a bit harder.

On Friday night after the Ashram, we decided to get in touch with our spiritual side by downing as many Gin & Tonics as we could manage!

The hospitality shown by Renukas family is incredible to me as a westerner. They are so friendly and welcoming and can't do enough for you. Special thanks to Ren's brother Neil and girlfriend and her Aunty for looking after us in Pune.

Day 4 – Aurangabad to Pune

So last night we ended up being ejected from a bar – because Renuka happens to be a woman! If only they knew how much money they lost (when we get together, we keep Smirnoff’s annual profits at an all time high!). So we then went to the hotel bar on the roof and could not get a gin and tonic for love nor money. The best they could offer was gin and lime juice. Yuk. We decided to leave the bar and get an early night. However I discovered that Renuka has a passion for playing cards (and Ren intercepting here - Michael’s competitive streak which I had never seen before suddenly came out…) so it was 2:30 before the lights went out!

The next morning we got up at 07:30 in order to get a 10am coach. Two and a half hours seemed a reasonable period to get to the bus station 5 minutes away but Renuka doesn’t like to be late.

The bus journey was a challenge. Six and a half hours on a bone shaker with nowhere to put our luggage. Renuka didn’t eat or drink for the 12 hours prior to the trip because she doesn’t do Indian service station toilets and there were no toilets on the bus. Actually there were no seats either!!!! I got it in the neck at the service station for not going Volvo luxury class – but that was a 06:00 bus start which would have meant a 3am get up time (see above for Renuka and getting places on time).

Arrived in Pune amidst language difficulties with the Rickshaw driver, which meant we ended up going to 3 different apartment complexes by mistake, we finally ended up at Renuka’s brothers (Neil’s) apartment. To get over the trauma of the bus journey, we settled down on the beanbags on the balcony with a couple (or five) of Kingfishers (beers, not birds!) and watched the sun set.

That evening we went to a new restaurant with Neil and Priya (Neil’s girlfriend) and had an excellent Pizza (the 1st non Indian meal on the holiday). We had a great laugh and went home to get a good nights sleep. Renuka’s mum had joined us by this stage.

The next day we met more of the Salvi clan and went to an ashram (a silent spiritual haven where people go to meditate and find inner peace) – we talked the whole way through and decided to leave after half an hour to go shopping (and then maybe have a beer or two…)

Need to go now as it’s 10pm and the Kingfishers are calling (not the birds)……. Next update from Mumbai tomorrow.

Day 3 - bat caves

So after the posting yesterday, we went for a meal in a restaurant recommended by the guide. We had a lovely meal and it came to less than 3 pounds. Then we pushed the boat out and went to a 5 star hotel and had 3 G&T's and a Baileys between us. The bill came to 30 pounds!!!!! We managed to barter the bill down to 15 pounds by using the threat of solicitors and police (my idea) because they had charged us for doubles when we ordered singles (the fact that we actually received doubles is by the by in my opinion!!!). Don't think we'll be invited back to that hotel.

I've now come to realise, Renuka is a bit of a liability. She banged her head on a low stone beam today, fell over in the grounds of the mini Taj Mahal and nearly got us run over by a massive HGV. Note to self: Insurance policies.

Today we walked among the bat sh1t in some more caves (Ellora) and climbed 750 steps to the top of a fort. It was really easy and just as well we both have been down the gym every day for the last 2 months (otherwise we would have to have come back to the hotel early and chilled by the pool). Renuka only fell up 35 steps.

So after a gruelling 4 hours at the caves and fort, we ordered our driver to take us back to the hotel to chill by the pool. We were stared at by the other hotel guests for the same reason as described yesterday - my pink bikini and Renukas black speedos!

Tonight we've been to the mini Taj Mahal in Aurangabad which was very pleasant and full of really friendly Indian tourists. We've just finished a lovely meal and the Rickshaw driver is patiently waiting for us (he has been for hours now!).

Tomorrow we get the 10am bus to Pune which is a 6 hour journey and meet up with Renukas brother Neil. Not sure of the plan when we reach Pune so will keep you posted on this tomorrow. Will also be able to post some pictures tomorrow as the Internet cafe's here are a bit hit and miss.

For mum and dad: Weather is good, hotel is nice, beer is dear, food is cheap and Renuka is providing no end of entertainment - better than a comedian in Benidorm any day!

That's it for now......

Day 2 - The caves...

So we got up at 7:30 for an 8am trip to the Ajanta Caves some 80 miles away. These caves are spectacular - 26 in total. They were hewed out of solid rock thousands of years ago and only re-discovered in 1819 by John Smith of all people. We had a very nice guide to show us round the caves. After it took him 30 minutes for the 1st cave we were getting worried, but he did speed up and we had a very enjoyable time.

We got lots of stares at the caves - me because I'm white and therefore a bit of a novelty to lots of Indian people and Renuka because she looks so obviously Indian but was dressed in a Next frock and doesn't speak a work of Hindi.

So when we got back to the hotel we ordered two very large Kingfisher beers which promptly arrived half an hour after we ordered them so we gave the dip in the hotel pool a miss. The hotel staff can't work out what's going on either - British man, Indian (looking) girl, same room. They keep making excuses to come to the room and check us out!

Tomorrow we are going to see some more caves (ug, ug), a hill top fortress and a miniature Taj Mahal - unkindly called the poor mans Taj. Will try and update the blog tomorrow and perhaps post some pictures - this PC won't let me as it's a very slow internet connection. Hold on a second........... ....... Renuka is banging her head on the booth again - her PC must be slow too, and there's me thinking I was doing her head in.

Renuka will do the next post tomorrow - in Hindi. Not !!!!

An uneventful flight...

After my friend Keith and Lyn kindly offered their drive as airport parking (and thanks Lyn for briefing the air crew - we were well looked after) the flight was uneventful - if you discount the person who had a choking fit and the 2 smokers in the toilet who were threatened with a holiday in a Goa jail. I guess the girl who fell out with her boyfriend wouldn't call it uneventful - he punched her in the face and broke her nose!

The pilot was a bit useless too - took him 3 attempts to work out what time we would get to Goa. That made us a bit nervous - if he couldn't work his timex, what chance did he have with the flight management system?!

Renuka's mum met us at Goa airport and promptly whisked us back to her house where we slept for about 45 mins before having to get up to start our next journey. We called in at the Marriott in Panjim for lunch - sheer luxury and we get to stay there for a free night at the end of the holiday - good to have friends in high places!


The Goa to Mumbai flight was boringly uneventful and then we effortlessly negotiated another flight to Aurangabad. Through that airport in minutes and the hotel was a mere 15 minutes away. This is all going too easy!!! Oops hold on a second................. Renuka is in the next booth to me in the Cyber cafe and she's just smashed her head into the booth - I didn't know I was that difficult to travel with!

So after a fantastic curry in a scruffy cafe, we made it back to the hotel for a good nights sleep in readiness for an early start (well 7am is VERY early for some people on this trip!!!).

More to follow.....


So Mumbai

Departure day...

Well departure day has arrived. I ate enough food yesterday to last the rest of the holiday! Renuka and myself dropped her mum off at Manchester airport so we had lunch with her mum and friends. Fantastic Indian food but the lovely old lady who cooked it insisted on 2nds and 3rds and .....! Then we had a lovely meal at a Syrian restaurant with her dad in the evening. That was a good laugh as her dad is a great bloke with some very funny stories to tell.

Renuka has re-packed her suitcase 17 times now. I must have made a casual remark about did she really need to use up the 60kg baggage allowance we have between us. My case weighs 12kg so she's doing her best to make up for my meagre offering. "It's all the Christmas presents I'm taking" she keeps telling me.... "Of course it is" I keep replying, with a lack of sincerity, which I dont think is helping!

Right, next post will be from Aurangabad - link here for those interested.

That's it for now!

The countdown begins...

4 days to go... the bags are not packed, the imodium has not been ordered, not sure how we are getting to the airport, where are the flight tickets?

So a normal build up to one of my holidays - last minute Michael....

The flight is at 13:00 on Sunday so Renuka wants to get to the airport by 08:00!!!!! Must be lots of shoe shops at Manchester airport then...